I was looking back at an old Facebook Live video and I did a double take at a video of myself in the group. I looked so skinny. Like I couldn’t remember being that size. And, at the time, I probably didn’t think I was thin
It was strange for me to see a comparison from then until now. I’m pretty sure there is a 40lb difference between these two photos (the one on the left is from 4 years ago!)
In the winter time, I just wanted to cover it up and hope no one noticed. But I had zero motivation to do anything about it. I was bummed about it, but thought that if I admitted I needed a change that I was admitting that I believed a certain body type was more valuable (which is NOT true) or that I didn’t love myself for who I am (also not true). I was so concerned that if I started dieting that I would become obsessed with my looks and not embrace the person I was already. Healthy & whole.
But here’s what I didn’t know then that I know now. Wanting to change doesn’t mean you don’t love who you are now. In fact, taking care of your body is an act of self love!
So, covid hit and I watched the scale keep creeping up pound by pound and my frustration crept up with it. Until one day I hit a number I just didn’t like. It shocked me a little! And I realized it was time to make some changes. I had to do it for my physical and mental health. God gave me this body and I KNOW how to care for it, but I was neglecting the knowledge I have in favour of comfort and complacency. But it was time.
I started working out 5-6 days a week. And, after 2 weeks...I actually started liking it. Now, 14 weeks later, I’m still loving it. I’m stronger. I have more endurance. I have more energy. I’m more present with the kids because I’m not as overwhelmed. I feel lighter (emotionally).
3 weeks ago I was chatting with a friend and finally admitted to her that I was actively trying to make some healthy changes. And that my results were not as I had expected. She replied “why won’t you let me help you?” And I had to sit with that for a while. Why wouldn’t I let her help me? Aren’t things easier with help? Why do I resist anyone helping me? It’s so uncomfortable for me to talk about myself. I just want to help others and ignore me.
Because I’m afraid of change.
So, I messaged her the next day and told her that I needed her. And boy has she shown up for me! As I knew she would! She immediately set up some accountability for me and had me tracking my food. She helped me customize a plan for MY body and has completely made it work for our lifestyle.
3 weeks after talking to her and I’m already noticing a massive shift. I’m taking so much more responsibility for my health by moving my body and eating incredible foods, but in the right proportions. And I’m still eating chocolate and popcorn I don’t feel deprived at all...just empowered.
I wanted to say thanks to Carolyn Irvine from www.strongirl.ca for genuinely caring about me, being my friend and listening and also pushing me to see what I’m capable of! I can’t wait to work with you this summer and see more improvements!
Life & health are a journey, not a destination. And I for one, love me a good road trip! Let’s do this!!
Here’s the photos I was talking about or reference!
